The move

Though I dont mind buying stuff which is a form of change, I hate most change.  Change of divorce, change of kids growing up and becoming more independent, change of moving desks at work even bothers me.  Its a bit whiney but dammit why do they need to move us, lets just cause unnecessary chaos.  And if I have to have one more needle shoved up my damn nuts I am gonna scream.  Though I hope this biopsy finally has a resolution as two inconclusive results is a bit unnerving.  My fingers are crossed again for this next test.  Has not been taken yet but we shall see what happens.

Sleep has been interesting lately, to many dreams that are overly active and they cause me to bolt upright in a cold sweat, dreams of many different natures but all causing me to lose sleep. I miss my kids every time I have to be away from them and this is part of my dreams, I know they look forward to me spending time with them.  When will it all settle down.

I watch people that are incredibly happy around me, happy to be married, happy to be engaged, happy to be dating, or even happy to be single.  I remember happy, I am not depressed by any means but I miss companionship, knowing there is someone to talk to when you get home, someone to watch a movie with.  My kids are great for that but conversations with kids between 3-4 years old.....can't really discuss politics or books or work.  Though I do love hearing about their day and having them sit in my lap and snuggle up with me watching tv, best part of my day. 

Another day, another dollar.  A quiet evening, I am thinking cold beer, chips and dip.  My Cinco De Mayo