Long Long ago in a far away galaxy

Ok so bad star wars reference.  Everyone has one of those names that just sticks in their head from an extremely early age, I am talking back when images are blurry and you arn't sure if you actually remember or are just forming images from stories.  I have two of them, Jacob Forseth(sp) and the only reason I remember his name is because he gave me a nasty glare one day from across the street, why this mattered?  I have no idea, but apparently at that age, that caused a memory to be formed.  I remember my bus number 81 and the final thing I remember from headstart is a name Shannon Hafdahl.  Well until today they were just memories.  The other day I happened to run across the name Shannon Hafdahl at my work, figured...yeah there is no way.  Well I talked to her today....the one and the same.  Talk about a 20 year time lapse between conversations.  Hoping to catch up with her and find out where the hell she disappeared too once our school closed so long ago. 

On another note, someone must have won the bet in my family because once again my dad has proven that the best way to get him to break up with a horrible girlfriend....get em married.  No offense to him but his track record is 0-3 with short marriages in all.  Well good riddance to bad rubbish, she was a money grubbing whore anyways and he was the only one that didnt see it. 

This weekend is panning out to be quite the busy event, tonight I have to go buy stuff to make strawberry pizza for banquet tomorrow, then make the crust tonight, in the morning taking the kids to the Shrine Circus and then up to the Archery Banquet in the evening then after that I am going to watch UFC fight and Chili and Beer at a friends.  Sunday its off to work on my friends boat and then have Fried chicken at night mmmmm.....then back to work monday :(  

On a sleepy note, I hate waking up in the middle of the night to a weird but horrible dream.  Its odd how you can fear something from a dream will come true, not like blue monkeys flinging blaze orange poo or anything but still weird stuff.  I am still trying to come to grasp with the reeling feelings going through me.  So much has changed in the last year that its hard to figure out which way my head is on.  I hope that whatever the doc found is not the bad thing because I really truely want to see my kids get older and have kids of their own.....huh, its odd how some days you can want to die to get away from the pain and then one day you find out you may die a lot sooner then you thought and you start to regret alot of things.  Though it may just be nothing it could also be something and that scares me....Until another day My Murphy Minions....though there are none yet, if you are reading this I at least have one who is thinking about becoming a Minion.  Enjoy every second, if you have kids, give them a kiss, if you fish...well what you do with a fish is your business not mine.  Adios till next time.

Cap'n Midget

A beginning, an end, and a short time.

Im not sure why I feel the need to write, I know I need to but what caused this I am not sure.  People tell me I am good at writing, but I think I am just good at letting my fingers find words that fit.  Life seemed so certain at one point, I could look ahead and I knew exactly how I was going to do things and when it was going to happen.  Then I met her, now there have been many her's in my life but only three have really mattered.  The first her that mattered dated me for a month and has since become a lifelong best friend....yeah I know what your thinking.  The second her showed up during the middle of highschool and nothing much happened till the last day of high school.  The third her was someone who opened my eyes and taught me that I like pushing boundaries but as soon as she was there she was gone.  Back to the second her, she became my girlfriend on the last day of  highschool, which quickly lead to fiancee a good few months later.  She is now the mother of my two children who in all honesty are the only reason I get up every day.  They can push me to the brink of insanity but then one will run up, wrap her arms around me and give me a kiss and the world is right again.  Their mother on the other hand is a whole different case of nuts.  She was my first long term girlfriend and was a different experiance from the beginning, what I would learn later would cost me seven years of hell, well five years before I started to get fed up with the shit and two years of pain after that.  Then there is the third her.  It was quite unexpected that she would come back into my life, the problem is someone forgot to tell fate to wait six months so that things could work.  For the first time in years I felt something I hadn't in a long time if ever, I felt hope.  Now dont get me wrong, my kids give me hope (not that bullshit Obama hope, real hope), they give me purpose, they give me joy, they give me worries.  I am talking about hope that a future that doesn't involve me being alone does exist, a future where maybe I can share a warm bed with someone, come home and have someone there to talk with and someone to listen to my hunting stories, someone to share the porch with me while watching grandchildren play.  I knew something was special the day I laid eyes on her, and all the time I knew her so long ago, she just had this quality about her that could make a horrible day bad and even had the power to make an addict quit.  She inspired me in a way I had not been inspired, words flowed onto paper like they had not in years.  Whenever the thought of her, or words of hers were before my eyes, I felt a glow in my chest.  Now I feel knives.  No blame can be placed on anyone because as I said, fate screwed up, apparently fate wears a timex and forgot to change the batteries.  Then I go into see cap'n doc and he goes for a turn your head and cough moment.  There are many scary parts in life "Im pregnant" (age 19) "Im pregnant" (age 20) "There's a lump" (24).....Who do I talk to?  There is no point telling anyone until I find out what it is.  So I write to you oh wall of nothing.  Who shall read you?  Where do I go from here....onward is the only direction for now but where does this lead?  Happy Sad Anger Elation Hurt.....all can lie ahead but only God and fate knows and dammit fate I will send you a new watch so you better get it right if I ever get a chance again.